The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
