Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
True strength comes from lack of pants
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
