I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Randomize
