maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
