Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
