PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
