In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
