If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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