How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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