You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
