Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
