I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
