i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
It was confusing and full of hummus
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
