I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
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just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
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By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.