Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
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Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
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i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.