HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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