I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
