i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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