He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Randomize
