'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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