So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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