Your tits are I can't wait for
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize