I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
