I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Randomize
