she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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