there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
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I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
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He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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