last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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