Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
