never play flip cup with pint glasses
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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