I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
She's not a foreskin expert like you
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
