you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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