p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
