My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
