I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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