I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
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