Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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