it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
