hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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