How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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