I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
