I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
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