You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
