and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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