return my video game
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
