the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
