I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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