epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
