ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
