people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
