Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
