well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
