We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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