So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
