"it" just moved
Where is the hickey?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
