Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
