HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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