TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
