areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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