Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
