I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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