Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
