Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
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