i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Dick very happy bro
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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