My first STD was from a foam party
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
